Christmas party at the office on Friday, thinking 'bout all the ways I could get laid
Does Lynn at reception return my affection
Maybe Katey, she's always working late
Gonna party all night, mixing rum and egg whites
Bound to make a few mistakes
HR ain't invited, that's why I'm excited
They always get to pump my brakes
But I ain't stopping for nobody
Just go ahead and write me up Monday
But now I'm wondering: What do I wear?
My suit, my tie, maybe slick back my hair?
No, that's what a douche would wear and I'm not a douche I swear
I got just the thing to get me in that underwear
I'll wear my Sexy Ugly Christmas Sweater
There ain't nobody out there who can do it better
I'll wear my Sexy Ugly Christmas Sweater
There ain't nobody does it better than me
Secret Santa, I got Julie from Montana
Gonna show her that this city boy can ride
And it's Christmastime in Hollis, Queens
Got the music video rocking up on the screen
And we're all getting blitzed on this Yuletide
Gonna party all night, maybe lose our eyesight
Lynn's making out with Bryan
Santa's with Laura, I'm in the corner
Prank calling our biggest client
No, we ain't stopping for nobody, no not this time
Just go ahead and write us up Monday
And now my boss, got her fingers in my fade
She's pulling, and I'm jerking, and we both start to sway
As we lock eyes, oh I know I got it made
She whispers: "Hey you know you are about to get laid..."
Sexy Ugly Christmas Sweater
There ain't nobody out there who can do it better
I'm wearing my Sexy Ugly Christmas Sweater
There ain't nobody does it better than me