Christmas party at the office on Friday, thinking 'bout all the ways I could get laid

Does Lynn at reception return my affection

Maybe Katey, she's always working late

Gonna party all night, mixing rum and egg whites

Bound to make a few mistakes

HR ain't invited, that's why I'm excited

They always get to pump my brakes

But I ain't stopping for nobody

No not this time

Just go ahead and write me up Monday

But now I'm wondering: What do I wear?

My suit, my tie, maybe slick back my hair?

No, that's what a douche would wear and I'm not a douche I swear

I got just the thing to get me in that underwear

I'll wear my Sexy Ugly Christmas Sweater

There ain't nobody out there who can do it better

I'll wear my Sexy Ugly Christmas Sweater

There ain't nobody does it better than me

Secret Santa, I got Julie from Montana

Gonna show her that this city boy can ride

And it's Christmastime in Hollis, Queens

Got the music video rocking up on the screen

And we're all getting blitzed on this Yuletide

Gonna party all night, maybe lose our eyesight

Lynn's making out with Bryan

Santa's with Laura, I'm in the corner

Prank calling our biggest client

No, we ain't stopping for nobody, no not this time

Just go ahead and write us up Monday

And now my boss, got her fingers in my fade

She's pulling, and I'm jerking, and we both start to sway

As we lock eyes, oh I know I got it made

She whispers: "Hey you know you are about to get laid..."

"Off."

Whoo!

Sexy Ugly Christmas Sweater

There ain't nobody out there who can do it better

I'm wearing my Sexy Ugly Christmas Sweater

There ain't nobody does it better than me