Put our service to the test
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie
Why, we only live to serve
Try the grey stuff, it's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask the dishes
After all, Miss, this is France
And a dinner here is never second best
Take a glance and then you'll
Pie and pudding "en flambe"
We'll prepare and serve with flair
But the banquet's all prepared
No one's gloomy or complaining
While the flatware's entertaining
With my fellow candlesticks
And it's all in perfect taste that you can bet
Come on and lift your glass
You've won your own free pass
It's fine dining we suggest
For a servant who's not serving
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon
Ah, those good old days when we were useful
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Ten years we've been rusting
Needing so much more than dusting
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills
Most days we just lay around the castle
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed
And my dear that's fine with me
While the cups do their soft shoeing
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing
Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?
Clean it up! We want the company impressed
Our command is your request
It's ten years since we had anybody here
Yes, indeed, we aim to please
While the candlelight's still glowing
'Til you shout,enough, I'm done
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest
Tonight you'll prop your feet up
But for now, let's eat up